You did what now?

Microsoft wanted us to know that unlike those poncy pretentious iPhone types, Windows Phones are for regular types of people who like regular types of things, such as football. But they couldn’t just come out and say “our phone is for people who like football” because talking in broad generalities like that sounds weirdly vague and non-committal. People having real conversations don’t say “I like food”, they say specific things like “curry is my favourite,” or “cucumbers are the work o’ the devil” (which is true).

No, you have to bring things to life somehow. So here’s what they came up with:


Their marketing people thought this one through. If you must pick a specific team, then West Ham is a pretty safe choice; a premier league side with a storied history, who also haven’t won anything recently enough to piss off any rival fan bases. If you zoom in on the poster, you can see they even thought through the details:


There’s plucky little West Ham defeating perennial juggernaut Manchester United. Who doesn’t love an underdog?

It was all going so well for them, right up until they sent copies out into the world to be plastered up in public. I took this photo in Manchester, a handful of miles from Old Trafford, the hallowed home stadium of Manchester United. That makes this roughly the equivalent of posting an imaginary score of “Lutherans 1, Catholics 0” up in the Vatican, alongside a smiling face, a thumbs up, and your brand logo.

North Americans might think this juxtaposition of sport and religion is odd, but English people won’t; Football is held here in many of the beating hearts of this country, as the deepest, dearest, and most eternal of the verities… higher even than orderly queuing and deep fried sea food. Thou shalt not cross one’s team.


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